This past week has been a whirlwind. It has been a week since our sweet boy left us.
While we knew the odds were stacked against him, and that this day would likely come, it didn't make it any easier.
It's not easy that our identities as parents of Connor were stripped away and we were suddenly left childless.
It's not easy being home, thinking of all the tasks we normally do that are centered around Connor. We've caught ourselves many times wandering aimlessly around the house, unsure of what to do with ourselves. Even something as simple as me washing my hair or painting my nails were always centered around him.
It has been hard walking into our parents' houses without the excitement of Connor smiling and laughing in his wheelchair. He loved getting carried up the steps into their houses.
That being said, we will get through this together and are extremely thankful for the friends and family who have supported us thus far. We would not have eaten (that's for sure) and we wouldn't have had the nice distraction we have when we're around others, where we both talk about Connor and don't talk about Connor.
On Saturday, we celebrated Connor's life. Matt and I eulogized our precious angel. When asked a few months ago if I would be able to speak, I was adamant. Absolutely not. There was no way I could picture talking about Connor in front of others. Anytime I mentioned it to Matt I broke down crying. However, Matt and I channeled our inner Connor's strength and tried to do right by him. I would hope he would be proud of us.
This is the video I created. If you know me, you know I'm a picture fanatic, so I really had to limit myself to the 4 songs I chose. I worked for probably 5-6 hours, and it was honestly a nice task to help keep my mind off of reality.
Fun fact: The picture in this thumbnail was from a fever.
Connor, we were not deserving of you. You were, and are, a precious angel and we are blessed to be called your parents. We will take what you have taught us and try to make an impact in this world. At the end, you required 2 blood transfusions (not counting the blood you received when doctors were desperately trying to save your life). Your dad and I already have a blood donation date scheduled for the 27th of September. Since we can't donate every month, we plan to do something positive and impactful on the 27th of each month in your honor.
Thank you Connor. Thank you for teaching us what it means to stay positive, even in the darkest of times. Thank you for reminding us to just relish in the music. Thank you for blessing us with sheer joy you exhibited each and every day. Thank you for being the blessing you are.
While you are gone, you will certainly never be forgotten. You will remain with us (and many others) in our hearts each and every day.
We love you baby boy.
