Overwhelmed

As eloquent as this post is in my mind, I know I won’t possibly be able to convey these feelings adequately into words.

I think the title sums it up.

Before you go thinking, oh, those poor parents, we’re not THAT overwhelmed.  It’s an ebb and flow.  

We are overwhelmed with…

Constant sickness.  Connor cannot seem to catch break this cold and flu season.  He is sick every week or two.  Some sicknesses we can manage at home, some take us to the pediatrician, and some take us to the ER.  It is draining.  I can't even count the various illnesses we've had just since January.

Scheduling.  We both work full time and it is becoming a bear to schedule appointments.  For example, when we were in the hospital for his pneumonia, the pulmonologist recommended a pH probe and swallow study for Connor prior to his surgery (which by the way got canceled AGAIN…that’s 3 times for those who are counting).  Well, we left on Sunday and tried All. Week. Long to get him scheduled for Monday the 16^th since I would be off.  We couldn’t get GI to put the orders in.  A bed was ready for us, insurance had pre-approved it, but without orders, we couldn’t go in.  We finally got in touch with them today and we’re hoping to do it on a Friday when he’s better so I’ll only have to take one day off (this is an admission so we’ll be there for 2 days). 

            We have also rescheduled his therapist visit for attempting his stander twice this week because Connor was sick.  It’s close to impossible to get anything scheduled for a late enough time for me to work a full day so it’s just overwhelming.

Lack of Sleep.  We are still getting limited sleep, despite Connor now being an official big boy (2 years old means you’re a big boy).  At best, we can hope to get a solid night of sleep every other night.  At worst?  We’re both up every night.  Don’t even get me started on our parameters for that either.  As I type this, I’m wiped because I’ve been up since 2:30 because Matt too is under the weather.

However, and this almost cancels everything else out, we are overwhelmed with these things as well:

Love.  If you’re a parent, you know what I’m talking about.  My heart is so full of love for this sweet boy.  His smile and laugh can literally make every concern go away.  How can you not love this?

Support.  Living closer to our families has been great, although we really don’t see them much more than when we lived in Ladson (see #3 above).  All of my coworkers have been great, including when I had to leave Friday because Connor got sick at daycare.

            I’m also part of a special group of women on Facebook.  We originally “got together” back when we were all expecting…we were (and still are) February 2013 First Time Moms.  While there’s a lot of topics I really can’t comment on, these women are always there to help pick me up when I’m feeling down (I often feel a bit like Debbie Downer!).   

Last Wednesday, I got home late and it had been a crazy day.  I had 2 meetings first thing, one a conference that I literally had to sprint through the school to make it to, my principal observed me, I found out Connor had pink eye and an ear infection, I had a meeting afterschool, and then I stayed until after 5:00 preparing for a sub the next day.

I came home to a FedEx box containing probably the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received.  A scrapbook put together by many of the moms in my Facebook group.  I began sobbing immediately when I saw what it was.  Drawings from other sweet 2 year olds, letter written to Connor, and letters written to Matt and me filled the pages. 

Amazed.  Overwhelmed.  These wonderful ladies will never understand how much their gift meant.  How much taking 5-10 minutes out of their day meant the whole world to my family. 

This.  This is what Matt and I need.  This makes everything else seem to fade away (although being covered in puke the past 6 days I’m not sure much can fade that smell away ;). 

For those of you who read this blog, we cannot thank you enough for your constant love and support.  It helps more than you know.  So, please excuse us if it takes a while to get a thank you note to you, if we seem distracted, or can't make it to a function...sometimes we are literally dragging to get to the weekend.